


Aquanet Lungs

by Queen_Lili_Holmes



Category: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen, Gender Identity Crisis, Gender Issues, Homophobia, Inspired by a tweet I found on instagram
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23556901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Lili_Holmes/pseuds/Queen_Lili_Holmes
Summary: Inspired by this tweet by @pisstaken : "dreamed i was rodrick heffley and i wanted to wear a skirt but i couldn't bc I was scard my parents were gonna be homophobic...why did i manifest gender nonconforming rodrick last nigh and why do i like it".My punk rock heart just had to write it.  Titles from Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Because we all need Neil Patrick Harris in drag)
Relationships: Rodrick Heffley & Loaded Dipper
Comments: 22
Kudos: 103





	1. Towering Velveteen

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Title is also from Hedwig

Like any eighteen year old, Rodrick knew what Hot Topic was. He’d been to the mall before, seen the one dark store surrounded by bright fast fashion brands.

He’d never been in the store before though, not wanting to incur the ridicule of popular kids who snickered and pointed at the emo and punk kids who shopped there, calling them homophobic slurs. Then Chris had told him he needed some eyeliner to match the band’s vibe.

And he sure as hell wasn’t going to a makeup store.

So here he was. Standing like a pussy outside the local Hot Topic as Green Day blasted.

It’s not a damn firefight, Rodrick. Just walk in.

He took a deep breath and entered. Unlike most stores, he wasn’t immediately accosted by a worker. The cashier had a bright purple undercut and it was difficult to tell what gender they were. Awkwardly, he glanced around.

To his left there was an entire wall of Harry Potter and Disney merchandise and to his right everything seemed to be anime. He walked further back and the fan themed stuff seemed to transition to bands.

Something caught his eye. A black skater skirt covered in skulls. 

It was a stiff fabric, but the skulls looked to be made of velvet. He could imagine it paired with one of the studded belts and cropped band t-shirts the store sold.

He shook his head, refocusing on the task at hand. To his left he saw some makeup and he quickly grabbed a black eyeliner pencil before walking to the checkout.

The cashier looked up and Rodrick noticed a black pin that said “They/Them” on their Nirvana t-shirt.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?”

He gave a stilted nod.

“Do you have a membership with us?” A shake. 

“Would you like to set one up?” Another shake.

“Alright, have a good day!”

Rodrick muttered a ‘you too’ before nearly running out of the store.

He was distracted the whole drive home, music doing nothing to delete the image of the skirt from his head. When he got home he barreled through the house, ignoring his mother asking about his day. Slamming the door to the basement he threw the bag to the side and flopped on his bed.

Rodrick’s dreams that night were filled with guitars and drums. This wasn’t any different from his normal dreams.

But this time skirts and heeled boots darted in and out of the dreamscape. His brain played the same Greenday song that had been played in the shop. He decided to stay in the dream, just for now. They were just dreams, right?


	2. A Paper Shroud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Band Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short. I wrote this just now because I've been loving all your comments!! All you lovelies sustain me!!

School the next day sucked. Rodrick aced his trig test, but his history class was drudgingly slow. No matter how it was presented, when a teacher talked about the Civil War all he could think of was his dad droning on and on about his stupid battlefield.

At least there was band practice. 

So here he was, in the basement. Bill, Chris, and Ben were all setting up their equipment. Suddenly, Chris seemed to remember something.

“Yo Rod, did you get the eyeliner like I said?” 

“Eyeliner?” Bill asked in confusion.

“Yeah man. Lots of bands use it. I figured it’d go with Rod’s whole vibe.”

Bill snorted, “Long as you aren’t turning into a sissy or any shit like that.”

Rodrick froze, all the dreams he had tried to repress suddenly came flooding back. Vaguely he heard Chris scoff a “whatever man”, but he barely noticed.

He wasn’t gay. Was he? No. He liked women. He liked how Heather Hills looked in her swimsuit. He liked how Elizabeth Matthew’s skirt showcased her perfectly round ass. He wasn’t gay.   
He didn’t mind people who were gay. Not like Bill seemed to. 

In seventh grade Jesse Anderson had kissed him on the class camping trip. It hadn’t felt bad, just odd. Still, he pulled away and just said “I won’t tell, but don’t do that again.”

That had been that. Jesse had been outed the next year by some girl who hadn’t liked being rejected. Everyone bullied him, calling him slurs as he walked the halls. 

He’d moved away for high school.

Rodrick hoped he was happier wherever he’d gone.

“Let’s just start practice, okay?” Ben, ever the mediator, broke Rodrick from his thoughts.

Everyone seemed to agree and they started playing Devil’s Diper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Bill wears eyeliner in the movie but he's a dick in this so here we are.


	3. Love His Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg has something to tell his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I originally said that the bedroom was in the attic. I lied. The basement worked better for this chapter. I also made Rodrick 18. That's all the edits though.

Rodrick was jamming out to The Anthem when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. He checked the time on his phone, only four o’clock. Dad was at work and Mom was with Manny at some “Mommy And Me” class. 

So what the hell did Greg want?

With a groan, he flopped off his mattress and stalked over to the door, flinging the door open he was greeted to his awkward little brother’s face.

“What is it, shit for brains?”

Greg scowled and muttered, “This was a terrible idea.”

He turned to walk away, but Rodrick caught his shoulder. They might not always get along, but this seemed serious.

“Come on in, dork.”

They both went into the room, Rodrick sprawling onto the armchair and Greg awkwardly sitting on the edge of the chair by Rodrick’s desk.

After a minute of silence, Rodrick sighed.

“Okay dude. Whatever you want to talk about, you wouldn't have come here if it wasn’t important. So I promise that I won’t use it against you. Deal?”

Greg’s shoulders slumped and he exhaled heavily. 

“I think something’s wrong with me.”

“Well duh. What have I been saying?” Rodrick joked. 

Hackles raised, Greg bit back, “Look if you aren’t going to take me seriously I’ll leave.”

“No, no. Go on little bro. Tell Big Brother what’s eating you.”

A long pause and then Greg sighed and whispered something which shocked Rodrick.

“I think I might like guys…” 

It was as if the words triggered a dam break in Rodrick’s brother.

“I kn-know it’s-it’s a-against w-what God says b-but i can’t help it! I d-don’t want to be like t-this! I just want to b-be normal,” Greg sobbed.

He sobbed as Rodrick sat dumbly. After a few minutes his sobs stopped, but silent tears streamed down his cheeks. 

“I just want to be normal,” he said in a quiet, shattered voice.

Rodrick abruptly stood and Greg flinched, terrified of what his older brother would do. 

But instead of hitting him or screaming at him or throwing him out of the room, Rodrick just pulled him into a crushing hug. With one hand holding his little brother’s head to his chest and tears starting to fall, Rodrick finally spoke.

“It’s alright. I promise it’s alright. There’s nothing wrong with you. I got you baby brother, I got you.”

He dropped a kiss to his brother’s head and held him as they cried. 

It felt like they stood in that hug for hours, just crying and each one holding the other together.

Eventually the tears stopped. They slowly let go, and sat down on Rodrick’s bed. The silence started to feel oppressive so Rodrick broke it up.

“Don’t get any ideas, dork. You’re still an annoying shithead,” he joked.

Greg gave a wet laugh, “I wouldn’t think otherwise, asshole.”

They fell back into silence, but a comfortable one this time. After a while Rodrick asked the question which burned in his chest.

“How-How did you realize?” he asked quietly. His brother gave a soft hum.

“You remember Bryce Anderson?”

Rodrick nodded. Chase Anderson, Bryce’s older brother, was in his year.

“Well I always thought I hated that he had so many girls after him because I wanted to be him. I guess I realized today that I didn’t want to be him, I wanted to be them,” Greg laughed, tension finally fully dissipated.

They laughed together for a minute before something crossed Rodrick’s mind.

“Greg,” he started, tone serious, “there’s nothing wrong with you. But you need to know, Mom and Dad. They might not take it so well.”

His brother’s eyes grew sad.

“Yeah. I know. That’s why I told you first. I figured you were less likely to tell me to go confess, even if the only reason you didn’t was to hold it over me.”

Rodrick pulled him into a side hug. 

“Well I won’t. I promise. Just be careful alright?”

Greg nodded, leaning into his brother’s side. Rodrick’s eyes grew mischievous.

“Do I need to give you the sex talk? Tell you all the things?”

The younger boy scrunched his nose up, “Ewwww, Rodrick no. Gross. I’m out.” 

He started to leave the room, but right before he did Rodrick made one last parting shot.

“Always use condoms, baby bro! Can’t make love without a glove!” he called.

A loud noise of disgust came from his brother as the door slammed behind him.

Rodrick lay back into his bed, laughing. They might have had a mushy moment, but that didn’t mean he was gonna stop teasing the little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!! And thank you all for the lovely comments!! You sustain me my darlings!!
> 
> Chapter title is from Hedwig again.   
> "Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour?"  
> "No, but I love his work."


End file.
